'This New Engine Purrs Like a Kitten! No, Really...Listen...It's Kinda Creepy...'

Half a tank.

German Inventor: I Never Used Dead Cats for Fuel

from Reuters

BERLIN - A German inventor said he has developed a method to produce crude oil products from waste that he believes can be an answer to the soaring costs of fuel, but denied a German newspaper story implying he also used dead cats.

"I use paper, plastics, textiles and rubbish," Koch told Reuters. "It's an alternative fuel that is friendly for the environment. But it's complete nonsense to suggest dead cats. I've never used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may have jumped in."

Bild on Tuesday wrote a headline: "German inventor can turn cats into fuel - for a tank he needs 20 cats." The paper on Wednesday followed up with a story entitled: "Can you really make fuel out of cats?"

A spokesman for Bild told Reuters the story was meant to show that cat remains could "in theory" be used to make fuel with Koch's patented method. The author of the story said Koch had never told him directly that he had used dead cats as the story implied.

Koch's his patented "KDV 500" machine can produce what he calls the "bio-diesel" fuel at about 30 cents a liter, one-fifth the price at petrol stations now.

"I drive my normal diesel-powered car with this mixture," Koch is quoted saying in Bild, next to a large picture of a kitten.


'There you are! Hmm. I'm really not supposed to top off the tank...Oh what the hell. Honey, hand me that brick.'