For Sale: Ugly-Ass Mermaid - Bid Now!

Ebay Sea Monster

from Sploid

Mermaid or sea monster or something much, much worse?

That's what the lucky (or unlucky) winner of a strange eBay auction is now hoping to find out.

The bidder "Mystery Museum" paid $1,550 for the "dead" sea monster, leading some monster watchers to speculate that the bizarre beach find will join other freakish things in some sort of public display, somewhere.

The seller, known only as "Sea Mystery," described the discovery of the enigmatic creature from below:

"While exploring desolate areas of Fort Desoto Beach at the southern end of St. Petersburg, here in Florida, I came upon a rather startling discovery. Before me lay what at first appeared to be a very large strange fish. Shocked and amazed, I realized I had found another mermaid or sea monster."

Another sea monster?

Sea Mystery continues: "Looking over her graceful body, I realized what a special creature she must had been in life. Was she the missing link between primates and fish?"

After assuring bidders that the sea monster photographs were not digitally manipulated, the seller offers some final details.

"The entire body has been determined to be covered in once living fish skin with scales," the seller writes. "I have drilled a small hole in the back of the head so that it can be hung up on a wall for display."


'Ugh...if I survive this, I swear to God, I'll never drink again!' Silly scylla, there is no God! And now you're dead and hanging in the den from a hole in your skull. Dumbass.

Xtober

X-Men 3 Hits DVD in October

from Cinescape / Hollywood Report

X-Men: The Last Stand will come to DVD in the fourth-quarter of this year. 20th Century Fox will reportedly announce on Friday that the movie will hit shelves on October 3, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

The film has made over $233 million at the box office and will be released in two extra-laden special editions.

The highlight of the third X-Men movie's DVD debut: three alternative endings, each with optional commentary by director Brett Ratner. The single-disc DVD release also includes 10 deleted scenes; audio commentaries from Ratner, the writers and the producers; a preview of the upcoming Ben Stiller movie A Night at the Museum; and two hidden "Easter eggs," one of the Beast reciting Shakespeare and the other of the X-Jet landing in Washington.

Fox also is preparing a collector's edition that includes an exclusive 100-page commemorative book with an all-new story penned by Marvel Comics master Stan Lee. It is his first original Marvel Comics book in five years.

In addition, Fox is packaging all three X-Men movies into a trilogy pack.

'AAAAH! W-What the Fuck Is That?! No! Don't Bri-AAAAAAAH! Jesus Christ, Get It Off Me! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!'

A newly-born panda cub is seen on the back of its mother at the Wolong Giant Panda Protection Center, in southwest China's Sichuan province, July 22, 2006. A 16-year-old panda named Bai Xue gave birth to the 160-gram female cub on July 22. The panda cub was the first to be born at the Wolong center this year. Picture taken July 22, 2006. CHINA OUT REUTERS/China Daily (CHINA)

'Beeeeeeeeeewwwwwww!'

Illiterate Spirit Frustrates Ouija-Board Players

from The Onion

STRATTANVILLE, PA — Late-night attempts to contact the spirit world proved more frustrating than enlightening for a slumber party of Strattanville teens Saturday when the only specter they were able to contact suffered from borderline illiteracy, sources said.

The poorly educated revenant frustrated the séance participants, who quickly grew impatient with such otherworldly messages as "W-U-R-N-N-G—F-U-M—B-A-Y-O-N—T-H-E—G-R-A-V" and other hard-to-interpret information.

Organizer Olivia Bamberger, 13, said they were all "embarrassed for the guy," and finally asked the wraith to tell them the future and "sound out the big words."

2008? 2008.

Iron Mandarin

Mandarin Is Villain in Iron Man

from Cinescape

Jon Favreau, director of Iron Man, confirmed at the Comic Con that the villain in the upcoming film would be Mandarin.

The Mandarin was a Marvel Comics supervillain, a scientific genius who sought world domination. Mandarin had no superpowers, but was a superb athlete and had tremendous martial arts skills. He uses ten rings which respond to his mental commands as weapons.

In Iron Man, troubled billionaire Tony Stark creates a life support suit to assist him after a life threatening accident. He ultimately decides to use its technology to fight evil and crime.

"The suit will be more like a weapons platform than a flying suit – more of a War Machine-feel to it," said Favreau at the Comic Con.

Jedi Master Yoga

Matthew McConaughey Episode IV:

A New Hope

from Defamer

Photographs of Matthew McConaughey's recent coastal yoga routine continue to offer inspiration to legions of Photoshop blasphemists everywhere, as a highly ambitious animated gif submitted to a BestWeekEver.tv contest imagines a Star Wars universe in which the Rebels leave the Millenium Falcon behind to fly a shirtless, sand-encrusted McConaughey on a suicide mission to destroy the Death Star. Ultimately, however, McConaughey's daredevil pilots fail in their mission to use his beach body powers to fire two proton torpedoes down a thermal exhaust port that leads directly the reactor core, and the actor meets an untimely, sexy end between Darth Vader's crosshairs.

That's This Weekend?! Dammit!Was This Weekend. Dammit.

Comic-Con International attendees wait in line to register on the first day of the convention at the San Diego Convention Center, Thursday, July 20, 2006, in San Diego. Comic-Con, the nation's largest celebration of comic books and pop culture, runs through Sunday, July 23. (AP Photo/Denis Poroy)