'Query: Did You Really Think You Could Lie to Me, Pathetic Human?'

Robots Read Your Mind!

from Sploid

They mop our floors, vacuum our rugs, feed our dogs, have sex with us, break up dangerous World Cup fights, clean our pools, perform disgusting surgery on our bodies, and even defuse bombs for our cowardly police.

No, they aren't illegal aliens - these slaves are actually robots.

The robots are everywhere. And in a shocking development, they've learned to feel pain and anger.

Worse yet, they've learned to read our minds.

The new "empathic" robots will be displayed for the amusement of humans at the Royal Society summer science exhibition in London next week.

"Our research could enable websites to tailor advertising or products to your mood," said Peter Robinson, a mad scientist from the University of Cambridge.

"For example, a web cam linked with our software could process your image, encode the correct emotional state and transmit information to a website."

Or, more chillingly, it can figure out when you're most vulnerable to robot attack.

Experts warn that the robots will rise up - it's a matter of when, not if.

The Pentagon is well on its way to creating a fully robotic army. There are already 2,500 robots fighting Washington's wars, and thousands more will be on the battlefield by the end of the year.

As the androids become smarter and faster than humans, there will be little hope for humanity once the robot armies turn on their makers.

One of the most disturbing techniques of the new robots was revealed last month, when U.S. soldiers in Iraq admitted the robots had won both the trust and affection of the troops.

The only way to survive the robot uprising, experts say, is to fight as dirty as a robot fights.

"Have no mercy," advises anti-robot expert Dr. Daniel Wilson. "Your enemy doesn't."